This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
