Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
