there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
no you cant smoke seaweed
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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