1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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