What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
