This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Randomize
