The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Well I just put wine in my tea
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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