He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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