I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
