you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
So here I am, sexting at work.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
