I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize