if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Randomize
