so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize