You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
