all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
