just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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