Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
