I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Randomize