wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
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