did you get engaged???
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Randomize
