i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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