i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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