Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
