the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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