What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
