at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Randomize
