who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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