She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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