and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
