She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
