I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
