And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
