My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Text me some of your sweat
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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