is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
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