porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
