Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
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