Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
