Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Randomize
