She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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