Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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