Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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