She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
