I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
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Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
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Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy