at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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