Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
