the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
