yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
