you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
