CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
