the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
