sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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