He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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