Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
