I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
