you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
