Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
