wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
