my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
