His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
