I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I faked an abortion last night.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize