There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
