I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
you told grandpa to call you daddy
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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