Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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