i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
