Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize