i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Randomize