I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
