I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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