She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
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